• Tina Nguyen

Dating vs Personal Branding Part 1- "Understand people, understand yourself!"

Updated: Oct 31, 2020

This is a blog from a woman who is still in the learning process with ten years of dating experience.

Vietnamese has a quote “Biết người biết ta trăm trận trăm thắng” - “Understand people, understand yourself, you can always win” (This is my raw translation, I can not find an English quote that has the closest meaning)

In this blog, I am going to talk about dating under the Marketer analysis. You can use many ways from traditional 4P, 7P to view the tactics or based on touchpoints of the “YOU” product etc. However, to have a blog that everyone can read, I put my Personal Brand tactics in the human analyzation way.



What defines a person?


Along with my experience, to understand about ourselves or anyone else, I deliver into three factors:


1. Our knowledge/ our inner world (etiquette, broad of topics we know about, have interested in and how deep we understand about those):

Example: A genuine hip-hop girl will have a very different inner world than a nerd one. Of course, there are many mix types, but we’re all something-oriented with diverse interests and knowledge. We should make sure that we know “who we are”.


2. Our personality/ our reaction toward society events includes our appearance based on inner beliefs and values:

Example: A hip-hop girl will perform her personality with relevant language, attitude, sometimes “bad words” means no bad. However, people might get shocked easier when seeing a decent girl swearing in public and quickly making a judgement. I picked this example because it’s easy to see between the two contrast colours. However, as I mention above, there are many colours on the palette, we must spot which one we are.

Recently, I have learnt an Etiquette class from Anna Bey - school of Affluence. She is a good mentor if you want to become a lady of confidence. No matter what your style is, her strategy for anyone to get into a new environment and network is wise. I applied for that course because I want to know more about Western manners as a newcomer. I adore Anna because we have the same mindset and I also like her fashion sense. Highly recommend: https://www.youtube.com/user/JetsetBabeOfficial

3. Our circle/ our growing environment (family, friends characteristics)

This circle is a factor that decides 50% of who we are and who we will be because we are human and live within society form. That’s in our DNA and we are all influenced by those who are around us.


My example: I am a very independent individual, my mom does not influence my decision unless I ask her and want some opinions. My mom also respects all my decision.

Unlike most of the parents within her generation in Vietnam, girls have no choice but to follow their family will. So I tend to find a partner with a similar pattern. It would be very stressful for me if a partner’s family put their shoes into our business, and well, bother my mom. I would rather fire their son from “my boyfriend” position because I prefer a king, no place for a mama boy. In the end, we give love to get love, give respect to get respect!


What’s an ideal partner?

This part will focus on the long-term type of partner because that’s what my friends and I aim to. If you find short-term ones, you can still read and go for the opposite as long as there is some chemistry.


1. Easy to communicate with

Why?

People who we can easily talk to are those who would have a similar vibe and a higher chance that they would into some similar things. It will be easier to understand each other, develop empathy with our inner world in the long-term. This factor does not only apply for just a long-term partner but also, this is a must for good friends. A partner for life should be our friend for life.

2. Comfortable to be around with

How?

It is easier if we have supportive roles in social interaction. A couple is a team where two people always have each-other back. Most of the time, a team has a leader, it is hard to be equal in every aspect of life. The roles could be flexible, but we should know who we are within a team so we could choose a person who could fill our blank, which creates a perfect Yin Yang and long-term piece.


And chemistry! Of course! However, the similarity in social appearance is an important factor to maintain a long-term attraction and respect toward each other, for instance, our clothing style and common social behaviour. 


3. Similar in life goals, point of view, interests and qualities

Where:

Within our circle/ our growing environment (family, friends characteristics)

Look at our old friends and why they become “old”. Look at our exes now and try to explain why they become our “exes”. Love is forever, but people change. Please do not misunderstand my point that changes are something negative. It is negative if the changes go “backward”. So if we both move forward then still become “old”, don’t be sad, be happy!

This is a mysterious factor of a human that is built from all that defines us. We can not know what would happen in the future, however, we could help the relationship survive longer by choosing a person with similar life goals, point of view, qualities and interests. We will keep changing, but those would support us to follow a similar speed and direction!

Coming up next - Dating vs Personal Branding Part 2 - "Personal Branding strategy in Dating"


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