A life chapter 3 - A process to be an individual and the Relationship loop ouch!
2 years living in a Capitalist Country, read tons of books written by Capitalism people. My mind gets through a bunch of healing processes and tries to open to a new point of view, new cultures, from spiritual to the most practical aspect. I start being into the idea of “Individualism”.
My single life is a perfect practice for a happy individual here. No eyes on my business, study hard, work hard for myself only, eat and dress well for myself only… A sense of freedom, I love that!
Welcome to the LOOP!
What the beautiful base I have until the Universe sent him to me.
He - humble but proud; successful but still tireless; gentle but aggressive at the same time - A super Individual who makes me adore him. He is the one that I want to become! But yes, in my graceful way.
The Universe was like “You think you’re good enough huh? Haha let me get your human license to the next level, my child!”
3 first months in a new relationship, 2 months the little girl in the subconscious mind again made the same old emotional storms. All the old needy, fear and doubt about the man’s loyalty who I have just dated drag me down to the point that a nice day, I woke up:
“What the heck are those emotions?”
“Why do I feel very less of me?”
“Why does my head so ache with all those negative scenarios?”
And “Where is me and my life on my precious pedestal?”
Oh well, I have to find a way to get back to ME and cut off all the past trauma that became unrealistic in the present...
Back to the Society trauma:
Our generation grew up with those broken heart songs and movies, the growing of dramatic entertainment. We listen to those 90s songs for some sense of childhood and feel nostalgic instead of sad.
Our parents’ generation, who grew up during the Vietnam war, is into their books about miserable people here and there… then teach those at school as a gold medal they expect the youngster to keep.
Sadness addiction - the perfect words for Vietnamese. Without all the sorrows and tragedies, you’re not normal! We eat, sleep and love in pain!
My previous life chapters must get an A+! I have got a professional tragedy writer in my subconscious mind. So do my Vietnamese or Asian friends. Sometimes, they can motivate that writer so much with ideas and clues of a soon to be love tragedy that I would have.
But I got ya! Not this time baby.
It’s funny. As a woman, I appreciate my man who has a strong boundary and keeps being his individual. Today, I get back to me, to the individual game plan for a worth living life - A life chapter 3 happy and free.